Justice Experiments With Marijuana Law

April 17, 2006

New York, NY -- In a move without precedent, the somewhat honorable Leon Tokes, of the New York County Court of Appeals, began experimenting with marijuana law late last Friday evening.

Ten states have made medical marijuana legal, prompting the judge to reconsider this views on the often controversial subject.

"I thought about the right to alieve pain and suffering, I was just like, 'Whooooaaa!' That was a real breakthrough for me. Experimenting has really raised my awareness and consciousness, you know, of - like - the law," Tokes said.

"That 9th circuit appeal was some dankness!" he continued in a law-induced euphoria, "I sat in my room for hours and just bugged out to it. My wife was, like, stressing me hard to put the law books down. I was, like, 'Just chill.' You know I can handle my research."

Others in the legal profession, however, have painted a different picture.

"We all got very concerned in law school, when Tokes went on a research binge, mixing trusts and estates law with securities litigation. We discovered him in the stairwell, mumbling incoherent citations. On the way out, he hit on the librarian and vomited coffee and Laffy Taffy all over the check-out counter. We were so embarrassed. We had to find different study partners after that, because Tokes just could handle it," said one former-acquaintance who asked to remain anonymous.

"That loser! One time he made a pass at me after studying for two days straight. He apologized later and blamed it on fatigue, but I still caught him looking up my skirt in Secure Transactions with Fueber," said attorney Les Cegni.

Tokes, however, has taken such criticisms in stride. "They call it the highest court in the land for a reason! Hey, Scalia, man, you got to hit this," he said, holding up a law book.

"My boy from WestLaw got a fat stack of research, and he's coming over later," Tokes said in summation.

Reported in jest by John Eischeid