Trucker Hat, Age 4, Dies Tragic Death

March 17, 2006

WILLIAMSBURG, BROOKLYN – The Trucker Hat of Clayton P. Jones, commonly known as “Clay”, died a tragic death last Friday night. The hat was four years old.

It is survived by a pair of ripped jeans, a black concert t-shirt and a pair of old-school Nikes with fat laces.

“We were listening to Iron and Wine, drinking beer and having a smoke, when I looked over and saw that my hat wasn’t moving. It was covered with dust, just lying there,” said Jones with tears welling up in his eyes. “I just hadn’t worn it in a while. I’d hate to think that it died of neglect.”

Police have completed an investigation of the incident, concluding that the hat died of natural causes and not of neglect. “Sadly enough, this is common for fashion accessories,” said a representative of the New York City Police Commissioner of the incident, “especially those wholly dependent on urban trends. We feel Mr. Jones’s loss, and wish only the best for his wardrobe.”

“I never thought that his Trucker Hat would go the same way as a velour track suit. It’s like what happened to gold when Diddy went platinum. It’s tragic. And hip. It’s tragically hip. It really is,” said Chandra Gonzalez-Yakamura, Jones’s multi-ethic girlfriend, “You know, accessories need social activity in order to survive. I guess it’s time has come.”

The Trucker Hat’s name comes from the first wearers, the truckers who often found the fashion accessory in gas stations and truck stations frequented while on the road. For a time, the hat went by the name “Vent Back,” after its construction.

The hat enjoyed a surge in popularity in the early 2000s as young, fashionable New Yorkers adopted it, often buying the hat second hand in thrift and vintage stores. It was often adorned with logos, and, later, personalized, designer stylings. Some of the hats, particularly those by Von Dutch and purchased new, could fetch up to $120 in some retail outlets at the height of the hat’s popularity.

A service for the Trucker Hat will be held at the next Killers show.

reported in jest by John Eischeid